the mere fact that i pasted ricky's and david's conversation below negates my lolling attempt at self-defense.

i realize this. ("shut the hell up.")
.....
wow i sound bitter.
almost all the time.
.....
i'm thinking about learning some xml and building my website (chiquitafajita, a name that should probably be altered for the sake of "mature appearances").
yeah.

i think i may as well forget about being loved. i don't quite know why. i don't quite know whether i care right now at all. in my idleness i do... so maybe i do, then.

i only want to give to my mom.

AND I CAN'T I HAVE TOI FUCKING GIVE TO MY GODDAAMN ENGLISH CALSSES NIGHTANDDAYNIGHTANDDAY

NO SHIT LIFE ISN'T FAIR NO FUCKING SHIT

i have to fucking GO TO SCHOOL AND HAVE MY SOUL SUCKED FROM ME SO I CAN GO HOME AND ADOPT MY WHINEY LITTLE GIRLBRAT ROLE SO I'LL BELIEVE THAT MY MOM IS A NAGGING WENCH SO SHE'LL BELIEVE I HATE HER. I HATE THEIS FICUKING SOCITET Y.

YES I AM KICKING THINGS RIGHT NOW KICKIGN HARD THINGS THAT STAVE AGAIANST ME. AND I AM GLAD THEY AREN'T BREAKIKGN SO THAT I ACN KEEP KICKING AND KICKING AND KICKIGN BECAUSE THIS WILLNOT GOIA AWAY.

GO TO HELLZACK. I WANT YOU TO STOP BEING A FUCKING INSENSITVEI HYPOCRITE. YOU ALAWY SWILL BE YOU BASTAR.D NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CARE YOU WILL NEVER SEEM LIKE IT. FORGET "BEING GOOD AT CONSOLING" JUST TRY. YOU SELFISH PRICK. YOU CAN TAKE EUGENE DEBS AND GO TO THE HELL YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF BECUASE THINKIGN ISN'T WORTH IT. TAKE YOUR JONI MITCHELL AND SLICE OFF YOUR SKINNY LEGS WIHT HER.

god.

that really was ricky calling david all those horrid names. it is/was really a joke between us. so he wasn't (or wouldn't have been, in the past) offended. we're not that horrible. although we ARE pretty horrible, when we think about it. but often we're too self-absorbed to do that ;)

oh god listen to me. just tell me to shut the hell up. you people need to start doing that. please. for all our benefits. (listen to me here, again. i am obviously pathetically freeloading.)

okay, i'll do it for you. SHUT UP SARAH.

bye :)