HUr1eyCh1k182: hey
Miffified: hi liz
HUr1eyCh1k182: how are you
Miffified: iuihhlh
Miffified: that was ricky
Miffified: i've been sick but i'm getting better
Miffified: are things pretty bad at school?
HUr1eyCh1k182: ah, i guess you heard?
HUr1eyCh1k182: yea
HUr1eyCh1k182: very bad
Miffified: yeah ryan called me yesterday morning
HUr1eyCh1k182: yea, it was so quiet today
HUr1eyCh1k182: it's sad
Miffified: my mom and i saw all these chartered buses around three chopt and forest, do you know if they were taking people to churches or anything?
HUr1eyCh1k182: naw, i dont think so
Miffified: were many people gone from school today?
HUr1eyCh1k182: yeah
HUr1eyCh1k182: a lot
HUr1eyCh1k182: we didn't even do anything in the classes
HUr1eyCh1k182: all the teachers were torn up about it....a lot of them cried and said if we wanted to we could sit and stare at the computer screens
Miffified: geez
Miffified: did you have any classes with them?
HUr1eyCh1k182: philip
HUr1eyCh1k182: my gov
Miffified: he was in my spanish class
HUr1eyCh1k182: yeah it's so sad
Miffified: i'm going to miss him, i loved his smile
HUr1eyCh1k182: i didnt believe dean when he told me
HUr1eyCh1k182: yeah and adam was just amazing
Miffified: i never knew adam
HUr1eyCh1k182: amazing person
HUr1eyCh1k182: absolutely amazing
Miffified: how?
HUr1eyCh1k182: freshman year when i didnt know anyone...he wold always come up to me and just talk to me
HUr1eyCh1k182: just say hi, just be friendly in and out of school
HUr1eyCh1k182: it meant a lot to me
Miffified: yeah
HUr1eyCh1k182: i was going to tell him at graduation how much that meant to me
Miffified: it really makes you appreciate people more
HUr1eyCh1k182: even though i was never close to him
Miffified: or think about how much you really appreciate them, i mean
HUr1eyCh1k182: yeah
HUr1eyCh1k182: god
HUr1eyCh1k182: alright well i'm going to get off...i'm prob gonna go to bed or something
HUr1eyCh1k182: i dont know
Miffified: okay, well goodnight li
Miffified: z

i feel so sheltered. perhaps i am wrong for not mourning? but here in my solitude i've thought it best to remember them as they were to me, and to celebrate them through my mind and soul.

i felt this morning the beginnings of guilt for not being at school, as if i should be a part of it. i reasoned: a) i'm sick. b) if i were another tearful one, i wouldn't contribute a bit. c) if i tried not to be affected, it wouldn't seem right. but i still felt like i should have been there.

the marquee at tuckahoe elementary says "IN MEMORY OF PHILLIP W. HIGGINS". that got me.

i still think they're just somewhere else

am i wrong about everything