oeuiweeeeeeeeeeeee

stupid fucking ambient.

The ongoing diplomatic crisis between the United States and China over the stranded EP3 spy plane worsened today after Chinese Premier Jiang Zemin told United States representatives, "All your plane are belong to us."

Analysts are divided as to what the significance of this latest statement might be, but the consensus is that "Somebody set up us the bomb."

A delegation from the U.S. Consulate was allowed access to the plane's crew on Tuesday and met with President Jiang immediately afterwards. Jiang is reported to have greeted them with the words, "How are you gentlemen!! All your plane are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."

George W. Bush is now faced with a diplomatic stand-off not seen since the days of the Cold War, and the most serious test yet of his presidency. Last night he told a packed news conference, "I have three words for President Jiang Zemin....'What you say??'"

Top-level Pentagon officials have also begun seriously considering military options should the situation escalate.

"China is known to possess zigs," says Robert Flynn of Jane's Defence Weekly, "and the possibility that they might all take off has not been ruled out. If that were to happen, we have no chance to survive make your time."

(c) urbanreflex.com 2000

SAN FRANCISCO - We spoke to Jay Fullmer, 38, who became the first American to get to grips with the concept of irony yesterday.
"It was weird," Fullmer said, "I was in London and, like, talking to this guy and it was raining and shit and he said, like, great weather, or something like that."
Said Fullmer: "And I thought - wait a minute, it's like, no way is it great weather."
Fullmer soon realised that the other man's 'mistake' was deliberate.
"This guy was pretty cool about it," Fullmer said.
Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, planned to use irony himself in future.
"I'm like saying it all the time." he said. "Weekend last I was like grilling steaks and I like burned them to shit and I said 'great weather'."