(i'm happy again!)

i had just been thinking about how i only really feel okay, as in the best i can possibly feel and so everything that's not that is just rather dull, when i have part of shawn in me. like a memory or something at least in the upper levels of my subconscious. or someone around who reminds me somehow of him which is quite a few people. when the lights and scenes before me vibrate as "he" turns - i'm seeing suddenly in five frames per second instead of the humanly-traditional four. when something like that is in me, or any of the ten million small memories that never go away and never will completely because they're the great ones and they recur. those are the only things that make me understand. and it's all brilliant..........

so i had just been thinking this. then everything started to happen. like zack actually called, and i actually decided i wanted to go to the play because GERSHWIN was actually a part of it. and anna karenina had just been great and tolstoy has perfect ideas on art. damn, tolstoy is a genius. and i was actually enjoying myself because of these good things i suppose and also because i ate. i'm learning more and more the benefits of satisfying hunger.

and guess who i saw at intermission??????
thank you amanda lotze for having jesus as a brother.
thank you kevin wilson for coming to richmond and being with him
thanks salinger

hey ryan, what are "real visual arts"?