supervxxen: hey ploser
miffypop: hah.
miffypop: exactly.
supervxxen: rofl doesn't that word remind you of the pictures we used to draw of i think it was elizabeth maccauley
supervxxen: dont remember how to spell her name
supervxxen: or was it lisa duty
miffypop: yeah it was elizabeth
miffypop: macaulty
miffypop: macauley i mean
supervxxen: hehe
supervxxen: will you read something for me
supervxxen: it's an op/ed article for the newspaper
supervxxen: rofl because the one i wrote, well mr mcginty our principal thought he'd be fired if it was in the newspaper
supervxxen: though it wasn't OFFENSIVE AT ALL
supervxxen: awww no file transfer?
miffypop: oh i'm using imici
miffypop: lo siento
supervxxen: ohok
supervxxen: i'll just copy and paste
miffypop: alright
miffypop: it's kind of ridiculous how often love pops up
miffypop: anyways.
supervxxen: Soon, my high-heeled shoes became a way of life. Tennis shoes, I discovered, did not have the same sharp, digging power as my super-shoes did. At two inches or three inches shorter, I not only wanted my weapon, I needed it.As my addiction grew worse, I found myself wearing high heels every day. I bought pair after pair of shoes, until finally I ended up with an insanely large pair: one that took me four inches off the ground, and let me soar into the air of medium height people. Luckily, the Fates landed me a job at the tennis shoe store, New Balance. Though I did not know it, this heroic store would soon rescue me from a life of hammer toes, bunions, and back problems.
supervxxen: Upon hiring me, my almighty manager handed me the Bible of Feet. Allow me to quote from possibly the greatest work of literature ever created: In the beginning, God created the heart, the mind, and the feet. And the feet were without form, and void. And God said, let there be toes: and there were toes. And God saw that there were toes, and saw that they were good, and divided them into five. And God said, let there be toenails: and there were toenails. And so, I realized something. I was not using my feet as they were meant to be used. I had bent them out of shape, used them as weapons rather than respecting them for the lovely creatures that they are.
supervxxen: I learned that my feet were the roots from which I had grown, the origins of my soul. I learned of the many trials and tribulations that feet have overcome over the years, from Chinese bondage to stiletto heels. I learned of true suffering, and understood the true spiritual nature of feet.
supervxxen: ow, I bring to you, the reader, a message for the future. Be wary of warning signs that the devil has invaded the souls of your feet: black toenails, or green toenails, or discolored toenails are a sure sign of possession. Other such signs are warts, calluses, or very oddly placed hairs. I will leave you with this: Remember to always treat your feet well, and they will walk you towards the path of enlightenment.
supervxxen: oh sorry, i ignored what you said
supervxxen: what do you mean how it just pops up
miffypop: oh thats ok i just felt like writing it
supervxxen: im just trying to finish this article so i can sleep and then i have to call my journalism teacher tomorrow mroning and stuff so im distracted
miffypop: oh i meant that when you talk to people they're like "oh yeah i've felt that before"
miffypop: and you're like "what? is love tha tcommon?"
miffypop: and i'm like "oh my god"
supervxxen: hehe nah people just like to think they know
miffypop: maybe
miffypop: i think i trust people more than that
miffypop: who knows
supervxxen: oh
supervxxen: i think it's very easy to delude yourself that you're in love
supervxxen: i dont' trust myself not to delude myself, so
miffypop: it's all the same
supervxxen: i can't really trust anyone to not delude themself
miffypop: if you think it than you are
miffypop: i dont think it matters
miffypop: if you wait for "real love" to call it love than it takes a lot out of it
supervxxen: what do you mean, it takes a lot out of it
supervxxen: i think there are too many forces playing tricks on us, and by deluding yourself you're in love when you're not you're allowing those forces to take over
supervxxen: and you'rehiding part of yourself from yourself, and not being honest with yourself, and how can you grow when you're not honest with yourself
miffypop: your emotions can grow if you think you're in love
miffypop: and i think that's important
miffypop: i'm not saying deluding yourself
miffypop: i think if you care that much about control than you're not going to experience near as much in terms of soul
supervxxen: hum how do emotions grow
miffypop: uh
supervxxen: no seriously
miffypop: you mean how does it happen?
supervxxen: i mean, i don't think it can grow in such a way if.. say you didn't like this person instead of pretending you were in love iwth that person
supervxxen: that your emotions would be any worse or any better because of it
supervxxen: they'd still be the same when real love came along, i think you'd still be able to feel them with the same intensity
supervxxen: perhaps awareness of emotions could grow
supervxxen: or understanding or dealing with them, i guess
miffypop: i don't mean growing over time, i mean growing in each separate opportunity
miffypop: making the moments of life greater
miffypop: for example, i think i've been in love at least five times
miffypop: for quite varying lengths of time and measures of seriousness
miffypop: and most of them haven't ended up being "real", but they made those days or weeks of my life joyous and filled with emotion and therefore life
supervxxen: i know this is an impossible asked over-and-over again, but how would you define love, or what you think love should be
miffypop: i think love can take many different forms... i don't think love SHOULD be anyway.. is that the answer you didn't want to get?
miffypop: well my point of saying that it's okay to think you're in love was that i don't think love is in one form
supervxxen: shrug, no i wasn't really expecting anything
supervxxen: i think love should be two souls improving, amplifying, helping eachother grow, etc.
supervxxen: eh, but i don't really think that's possible considering my belief on what souls are
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: yeah i guess that's the ideal love you want to end up with
miffypop: i mean obviously lol
miffypop: but i mean it's often not experienced, and the smaller loves you happen upon are still good
supervxxen: i can see that
supervxxen: it's a personal thing, i guess
miffypop: well you know what we were talking about last week, the self-hypnosis and positive thought? did we talk about that?
supervxxen: because i know when i start pretending i'm in love, it starts sort of a cycle of deluding myself
supervxxen: because i get so afraid that i'm not
supervxxen: and so i just try to cover up my thoughts and fears, etc. and yes
miffypop: oh... i think i used to do that but lately i've been like "whatever"
miffypop: okay.. well thinking you're in love is the same thing, its the power of positive thought, because when you tell yourself or think you're in love, then your subconscious will believe it, and you will be in love, because interpretation is all there is in the case of emotion, i think
miffypop: i mean, is there any reality to emotions?
supervxxen: you sound like you mean that love doesn't exist
miffypop: but anyway, if you ARE in love, then your quality of life will be better because of that... even if you suffer overall or in result of it, because you still believe that love is beautiful
supervxxen: or that no emotions really do, they're all just us pretending they do
miffypop: how do you define "exist"?
supervxxen: i think existing as a real bond, not something concocted by our own imaginations
supervxxen: something that is felt because it's there
miffypop: but what is "real"? what is "there"? why does one person then fall in love with one other and not everyone else that is loved?
supervxxen: not something that has been created just because we think highly of another person
supervxxen: but because on a spiritual level, there is a bond
supervxxen: well, basically, love is judgement
miffypop: but spirits are changeable
supervxxen: i think if you love someone, and don't love someone else, then it's like saying that we're not all equal, that we don't have the same potential
supervxxen: you choose one person over another
supervxxen: anyhow, if that's truly the case, if there is no spiritual bond that links us, i don't think love does exist
supervxxen: but if for some reason we are able to connect in a way that we can't connect with any other, then that's real
miffypop: i think it all just lies in personal belief, i think you create love, and i think you can escape it if you want by choosing to think in a different way
miffypop: by focusing on the negative
supervxxen: what are your religious beliefs nowadays?
miffypop: uh i dont think i have religious beliefs
miffypop: spiritual ones but not religious ones
supervxxen: same thing to me.
miffypop: did i have religious ones anytime recently? i dont think i did
supervxxen: i think of religion as any kind of spirituality
supervxxen: i dont know, maybe i'm using the term wrong
miffypop: i would say the vice versa
supervxxen: ahh, well, what are they anyway
miffypop: hahah
miffypop: well i believe in buddhism, and that's a philosophy, not a religion
miffypop: i don't practice it though
miffypop: i ought to
supervxxen: oh
miffypop: it has everything to do with the way you think
miffypop: and how that affects you
supervxxen: argh brb i really need to pee
miffypop: k
supervxxen: ok im back
supervxxen: see i consider myself to have a religion but it's not like "christianity" or "buddhism" or something with a name
supervxxen: it's really just my own personal beliefs about god and spirituality
supervxxen: i haven't told you this before have i?
supervxxen: i think that beauty can't exist without god, and that to me is proof that god exists, but i don't think god exists in the personified form of christianity.. i think god exists as a force.. i think god is what makes things beautiful, makes us feel passion, makes us feel love
supervxxen: and that we each are our own soul, and god is what helps us understand and uncover it
miffypop: no, you havent told me that before, but i somewhat assumed it
miffypop: have you read emerson?
supervxxen: but that fear and guilt are what cover our souls, prevent us from understanding ourselves, etc
supervxxen: and no not really.
miffypop: you ought to, that's what he believes
supervxxen: really
miffypop: anyway, i agree
miffypop: yes
miffypop: he believes in god as the oversoul
miffypop: and the oversoul resides in all of nature
supervxxen: all i want to do nowadays is run away and live out in the middle of nowhere
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: did i tell you about when i went to UVA on monday?
miffypop: god i can't stand school i hate it so much
supervxxen: i cringe to think of myself there
miffypop: oh wow
supervxxen: i had only been there when my sister's graduated
miffypop: where else did you apply?
supervxxen: but it was just a normal class day
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: there were just SOOO many people
supervxxen: and i realized how much i wanted to go to a small school
supervxxen: swarthmore, vassar (but i won't get financial aid b/c i was two weeks later on deadline so i really doubt i'll be going there), u chicago, and harvard which i don't want to go to and know i wont be accepted into
miffypop: wait wtf you really applied to harvard?
supervxxen: i don't want to go to chicago though because it's in the city and i realized that i don't like cities
supervxxen: yeah, it was the only way my dad would pay for my application to chicago
miffypop: jesus christ
supervxxen: i said, i'll apply anywhere if you pay for my application to chicago
miffypop: that's hilarious!
miffypop: fdl oh my god
supervxxen: yeah i know, i had my harvard interview on wednesday
miffypop: yeah, i thought you were kidding
supervxxen: it was the common application, the same one i did for w&m
supervxxen: oh
miffypop: but you don't usually joke like that so i did wonder
supervxxen: so it wasn't a big deal to me
supervxxen: haha
supervxxen: anyway i think i'd go insane if i went to UVA
miffypop: anyway, would you consider marlboro?
miffypop: i wish your dad didnt have so much control
supervxxen: well if i want him to pay
supervxxen: i think marlboro would be cool actually
supervxxen: after seeing uva, i didn't even really visited it, we just tried to find the admissions office
miffypop: i would put myself through college, because i seriously can't imagine going anywhere else without going insane
supervxxen: scott had to talk to an admissions person and then we left
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: yeah, i can really see why you would want to go to marlboro now
miffypop: lol
supervxxen: it just felt so empty with so many people
miffypop: i felt that way everywhere else
miffypop: not too much at sarah lawrence, but still a bit,
supervxxen: i mean, if you think about it, when you make a decision to go to a college like swarthmore or marlboro, or something small, you're the kind of person who knows what they want
supervxxen: whereas at UVA, you've just kind of piled into this big mass of people who are entirely lost, and probably aren't very good at finding their way
miffypop: just to the mall
miffypop: ha! ha!
miffypop: and to dave matthews concerts
supervxxen: and anyway, i felt like i'd be going through godwin again, atleast with all the people
supervxxen: knowing that the people around me were going through something, but there were too many people and too little time to really understand anyone at all
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: so many people, when ive told them about marlboro, have said "i would need way more people"
miffypop: but, for what? for cushioning and scenery?
miffypop: it's not like they're useful just walking around fdl
supervxxen: yeah, but the more i think about it, the more people is WORSE
supervxxen: hahaha
supervxxen: i think i said that to you actually
miffypop: probable
miffypop: but by the way, i've kind of gathered that marlboro has no money problems, and they handle things for you
supervxxen: i think actually right now if i hadn't fucked up the financial aid i'd want to go to vassar most
supervxxen: cool
supervxxen: the girl i talked to that went to swarthmore said what they think your parents can pay isn't really what they can pay
miffypop: jesus i dont know whats gonig on with my financial aid stuff.. i think my uncle may still have the forms
supervxxen: ew, have htey been due yet?
miffypop: oh no
miffypop: but it's still a priority thing
supervxxen: i finished my CSS/profile the deadline.... five minutes before feb. 1st ended
supervxxen: heh it would honestly really suck if i got into harvard
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: anyhow, i kind of thought that if i was meant to go somewhere, then i would end up there
supervxxen: but now i don't really
miffypop: wait, where's "there"? harvard?
supervxxen: which is the lesser of two evils... w&m or UVA?
supervxxen: no, just anywhere. like UVA vs. Swarthmore vs. chicago
miffypop: oh oh
miffypop: i'd say w&m, but i really dont know
miffypop: i've just heard that w&m has nice people
miffypop: and is relatively openminded
supervxxen: yeah but uva is near the mountains
miffypop: or "tolerant" at least
miffypop: lol
miffypop: it is really pretty there
supervxxen: lol that's scott's reason for having uva as his first choice
miffypop: that's close to where zack and john and i go hiking
supervxxen: i thought w&m was more conservative
supervxxen: uva would be more diverse i think
miffypop: the impression i get is the opposite, but of course i have no real way of knowing
supervxxen: yeah but uva is in to the whole football thing
supervxxen: aw, hell, i'll sweat over it when i get accepted places
supervxxen: rofl is mage5234 that guy umm
miffypop: hahahahahha
miffypop: chris koegler
supervxxen: something koegler
supervxxen: yeah
supervxxen: rofl he's sitll on my buddy list
supervxxen: i never take people off
miffypop: anyway, i'm glad you mentioned deadlines b/c i forgot
miffypop: i still have a month
miffypop: mar 1 is their application deadline, btw
supervxxen: oh ok
miffypop: lol it would be cool if you went there
supervxxen: wow that's late
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: if you and jon went there, man! that would be awesome!
supervxxen: haha
supervxxen: why doesn't their website work
miffypop: yeah i don't know, it always has before
miffypop: it's always been perfect!
miffypop: hehe
supervxxen: oh wow it's not as expensive as vassar, i thought it was
supervxxen: haha
miffypop: http://littlefeministhippie.antville.org
miffypop: is my weBLOG!!!!!! fdl god i dont like that term
supervxxen: oh yeah i read it the other night
miffypop: oh really
miffypop: there's probably a lot more now
miffypop: well there is
miffypop: but they're mostly nonsensical.. but i don't mean it to have sense anyway
supervxxen: yeah there is
supervxxen: ahh how coherent
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: lol well you have some lovely poetic bits of sarah in there
supervxxen: and some very angry bits of sarah, and some insane bits of sarah
miffypop: hell yes
miffypop: jesus christ i DO go insane when i use it
supervxxen: it's a sarah-collage, but it doesn't fit together in any particular order
supervxxen: hey, do you remember how i used to say like i don't really feel like eaming is my name?
miffypop: oh i think so
miffypop: but it would make sense if you had so, YES i do remember hehe
supervxxen: do you think it is my name?
miffypop: yes
miffypop: i think it is very much your nae
miffypop: name
supervxxen: i mean do you think of me as "eaming" by name or just as a person that doesn't really have a name but just so happenst o be called eaming
supervxxen: oh.
supervxxen: you know it means pleasant person right
miffypop: lol you told me that
supervxxen: and it also means (if you take apart the characters and look at the pictures) -- myheart is in taiwan
supervxxen: i think that it something you didn't know
miffypop: probably
supervxxen: i think i have been very ill-named
miffypop: ah
miffypop: well mine means "princess"
miffypop: so you know
supervxxen: how very girly
miffypop: that may have added to my ego over the years
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: sarah vannoy loved that so much
miffypop: she used to brag about it in second grade
supervxxen: haha
miffypop: she once did a show and tell presentation about the meaning of her name
supervxxen: well, anyway, scott agrees with me, which is weird
miffypop: i wanted to puke on her
miffypop: about your being ill-named?
supervxxen: about eaming not really being my named
supervxxen: my name
supervxxen: he says he thinks of eaming as "school eaming"
miffypop: i sometimes think so but i mostly so identify it with you because of your singularity and the singularity of your name and also (forgive me) the asian thing
supervxxen: lol
supervxxen: RACIST
supervxxen: i could never have another name
supervxxen: i just feel like i dont really have a name sometimes
supervxxen: i guess it's a subconscious identity crisis complex?
miffypop: i dont think i've ever identified you rname with school; i think i identify it with the "real" eaming (not that you change in school, but what school could possibly do to you)
supervxxen: or maybe it's more spiritual than that.
miffypop: i think everyone has that
miffypop: perhaps
supervxxen: since my parents named me
miffypop: yeah i dont really think i have a name
supervxxen: and i'm so detached from them
miffypop: i dont think anyone does
supervxxen: and they probably just picked something because that's what they wanted me to be
miffypop: it's just one of the many little civilized comforts we have
supervxxen: oh, okay good
miffypop: like the cushion-people at college
supervxxen: see, this is what i've been trying to get from people, but people are like what are you talking about
miffypop: hahaha
supervxxen: i guess i just don't ask in the right way
miffypop: or they're not THINKING the right way!!!
supervxxen: cushion-people
supervxxen: if i go to uva i will go insane and start calling everyone a cushion person
miffypop: yeah, adds a new facet to sitting on a couch
miffypop: i'm going to be paranoid every time i squat now
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: can't you imagine it
miffypop: yes
supervxxen: there were these two guys in white coats i saw at uva that looked like they worked for an asylum
supervxxen: now it's my fantasy to be dragged off by them and start screaming at everyone "YOU'RE ALL CUSHION PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
supervxxen: that would be delicious
miffypop: i can imagine you standing in a courtyard screaming and pointing fingers with an abercrombie circle around you; you've now begun to wear baggy/ratty clothes and have stopped washing and brushing your hair
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: and you're screaming and looking like connie on stage
miffypop: your voice has become nasal
supervxxen: hhaha
miffypop: histrionically so
miffypop: I'M GOING TO JUILLIARD
supervxxen: lol
supervxxen: i wonder if hse's tried transferring this year
supervxxen: she's
miffypop: whens the last you talked to her
supervxxen: she came home like two weeks ago
miffypop: did she stay with you or your mom
supervxxen: both
miffypop: oh
supervxxen: yeah, she split in to two people and it was scary :(
supervxxen: aaaaaaaaaaaa
miffypop: ah
supervxxen: two connies now that would be scary
miffypop: wait so.. is she still at suny?
supervxxen: yup
miffypop: its very weird to think of the class of 2000 as being sophomores in college
supervxxen: how much is the application fee to marlboro
supervxxen: oh did i tell you i got accepted into the vcu honors program
miffypop: $30
miffypop: you could do it on the sly
miffypop: well yippy, i'm going to buy you some sparkling apple juice
supervxxen: wow thats cheap
miffypop: i know!
miffypop: fdl warren wilson is free
supervxxen: really? will you will you?
supervxxen: what's warren wilson?
miffypop: that hippie commune college i almost went to
miffypop: before i saw the platinum-gleaming light of upper class private institutions
supervxxen: we should start a commune
miffypop: seriously
supervxxen: i think i want to be a farmer
miffypop: i wanted to for a longt ime
supervxxen: scott's starting one and he won't let me come
miffypop: then i realized how i'd still be frustrated with the work
miffypop: i hate work god
supervxxen: true
miffypop: but if i ever attain peace, then i'll want to be a farmer
miffypop: but only for a subsistence farm, i dont' want too much work
miffypop: why wouldn't scott let you on haha
supervxxen: lol im looking at schools with less than 500 students now
supervxxen: it's an all guy thing
miffypop: WHAT THE FUCK
miffypop: that sucks
supervxxen: yeah man
supervxxen: lol sarah dude it's just a joke
miffypop: i mean, there are SOME women whose lives are worth being lived
miffypop: oh yeah i know
miffypop: god
miffypop: you don't think i'm a feminazi do you
supervxxen: aw hes not a chauvinist, he's just gay
miffypop: i'm not abigail for christ's sake
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: it was funny how you reacted
supervxxen: WHAT THE FUCK
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: well i was somewhat serious
supervxxen: IM GOING TO CASTRATE HIM
miffypop: well was it your joke or his?
miffypop: if it was yours, then i feel stupid
miffypop: but i assumed it was his joke
miffypop: and then i was reacting as i would in real life
miffypop: reacting as the feminist among males
miffypop: as i tend to do
miffypop: because they expect me to
miffypop: why don't i go to juilliard huh?
supervxxen: i think it was his and his founding fathers
miffypop: lol
supervxxen: hehe alaska pacific university has 480 students and 6% are in the top 10% of their graduating class
miffypop: hey nice
supervxxen: and i can get to kno wa lot of moose
miffypop: wouldn't that be sweet if josh ended up going there
miffypop: josh and his pothead policemen
miffypop: have you talked to him lately?
miffypop: "joshiepooh"
supervxxen: um
supervxxen: two years, maybe?
miffypop: jesus
miffypop: i talked to him earlier this year, and it was rather like it used to be! it was fun and i was happy and he said he'd start going online and then i ended up not going online for a week and so i never saw him again
supervxxen: i dont know, we never have much to say to each other
miffypop: well we do once we actually start talking you know
supervxxen: oh i see
miffypop: once we pick a subject
supervxxen: yeah i guess
miffypop: but until then it's much empty space
supervxxen: i think you were better friends with him than i was
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: the suburbs suck
miffypop: everywhere sucks
miffypop: but yeah the suburbs suck greatly
miffypop: they suck god's dick
miffypop: if i were a christian you know
supervxxen: cities suck too
miffypop: it would depend
miffypop: but i know i wouldnt find peace there
supervxxen: yeah
miffypop: i hate civilization! look what its done to everything
miffypop: i want open land!
miffypop: for sierra club, zack and john and tommy and david and i went to mooreland farms to petition
miffypop: and i went up to this one guy and tried to explain what i was doing, protecting open land and stuff
supervxxen: hahahahhaa
miffypop: and he was like "that doesn't exist. all land's owned by someone."
miffypop: and i was like "no uhh you see..."
miffypop: and he's like "no. all land is owned by somebody. it has to be."
supervxxen: lol
miffypop: i was like "okay."
supervxxen: i thought all land was owned by someone
supervxxen: it's not?
miffypop: and gritted my teeth
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: no it's not
miffypop: some land remains unbought
supervxxen: cool, where can i go that's not owned by someone
miffypop: varina
supervxxen: yeah but who do you buy it from?
supervxxen: awesome how do i get there
miffypop: and most places right along the james
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: no don't buy it
supervxxen: i'm not buying it
miffypop: hehe ok
supervxxen: i was just saying, in order to buy it from someone, someone has to own it, right?
supervxxen: the government
miffypop: yeah, well the government DOES own it, in the fact that it owns the entire country
supervxxen: oh. i see.
miffypop: but that doesn't count, or something, because it's not privately owned and not used for government building
supervxxen: but no one will yell at me for trespassing if i start hanging out in varina right
miffypop: oh not at all
supervxxen: cool, how will i know if something's open land
miffypop: we have a huge map with sierra club
miffypop: you can come to one of our meetigns
miffypop: lol
supervxxen: i'm bein serious here, hehe i've been depressed for the past few weeks because i thought everywhere i go i'm trespassing on someone'se lawn
supervxxen: lol okay
supervxxen: i wonder if i would see anyone i know
miffypop: hehe
supervxxen: it would be the richmond chapter though i guess
supervxxen: do you know anh giang
miffypop: no i do not
miffypop: its time for my birthday
supervxxen: okaly
supervxxen: you still have 19 days
miffypop: yes
miffypop: but it's 2:21 am
miffypop: therefore i'm going to die on my birthday again
miffypop: again again again
miffypop: or at least i'm going to have an emotional breakdown like last year
supervxxen: you did?
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: what caused it?
miffypop: shawn and zack appearing at the same time
miffypop: i suddenly was like WHAT/???? WHO DO I LOVE IT CAN ONLY BE ONE PERSON
miffypop: or something like that... i dont' know, it wasnt reasonable (of course)
supervxxen: hmmmm weird
miffypop: and so i started weeping in my homeroom and didn't stop for ten minutes and zack was right there watching me and it sucked
miffypop: god it sucked
miffypop: so you know that was the beginning of my day
supervxxen: ouch
supervxxen: birthdays are silly anyway. "look, i've revolved around the sun 17 times"
miffypop: yeah fdl
miffypop: they mean so ridiculously little
miffypop: they don't even reflect knowledge, let alone wisdom
supervxxen: lol actually that's kind of a neat way to put it, i never thought about celebrating my 18th revolution around the sun
miffypop: yes, it makes you seem celestial
miffypop: goddammit i can't believe an hour and twenty minutes went so quickly!
supervxxen: i hate clocks
miffypop: me too
supervxxen: why can't we just be timeless
supervxxen: i was lying in the hammock the other day envying the trees
supervxxen: they were laughing at me
miffypop: because some bastard was afraid of beauty, a long time ago
supervxxen: because they're beautiful and humans are just so ugly
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: the wind was mocking me today
miffypop: it was free
supervxxen: wow
supervxxen: yo'ure right
miffypop: and it was travelling, man
supervxxen: the wind was insane today
miffypop: it was amazing!!!!
supervxxen: trees must be insanely wiser than us
supervxxen: did you know whales are supposedly the most advanced species on earth?
miffypop: no i did not know that
miffypop: i thought maybe dolphins.. but explain?
supervxxen: which would make sense, if evolution started in the oceans
miffypop: perhaps 'twould
supervxxen: i'm not exactly sure what that means
supervxxen: i guess it's been around the longest
miffypop: hehe
miffypop: my aunt flatout rejected evolution when ricky asked her if she believed in it
supervxxen: i dont know, that's what scott told me and then i forgot or i stopped listening
miffypop: she was like "absolutely not."
supervxxen: lol did ricky make monkey noises at her
miffypop: no fdl
miffypop: but the reason he asked her at that moment was that she was eating a banana
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: hahahha
miffypop: and after she said no, he was like "because you know apes like bananas"
supervxxen: do you believe in evolution
supervxxen: you remember in celestine prophecy
supervxxen: when it was saying how we were supposedly the next step in evolution
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: and how it was supposed to continue through the minds of humans
miffypop: i thought that was sweet
supervxxen: really
miffypop: and i thought it was so logical
supervxxen: i didn't really like that
miffypop: i mean with the course of energy that had been explained
supervxxen: the way he put it made it sound like he was putting too much emphasis on humans
miffypop: oh i know what you mean
miffypop: but.. back to the whales, do you know why they're supposedly the most advanced?
supervxxen: no, i'll ask scott again
miffypop: k
supervxxen: i kind of miss the warm weather now
supervxxen: but i kind of don't
supervxxen: i think that was another reason uva was making me so mad. because it seemed so foreign w/ the warm weather, like i stepped into another owrld
miffypop: ah yes
supervxxen: i think i should read some emerson
supervxxen: we did some last year in english, i just forgot to read it
miffypop: most definitely you should read it
supervxxen: that night, and i never did it after that
supervxxen: anyhow, i didn't ahve a clue what i believed then
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: reading emerson and thoreau made a huge difference in my life
supervxxen: what of theirs should i read
miffypop: everything
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: but uhhh emerson: "Nature", "Self-Reliance"
miffypop: Thoreau: "Civil Disobedience", "Walking"
miffypop: and
miffypop: Walden is his novel
miffypop: or not really his novel but his book
supervxxen: ok will do
miffypop: also he has another book but the title's rather long for me to remember
supervxxen: brb
supervxxen: hey. what are you doing this summer
miffypop: hopefully not working
miffypop: i've decided i'm going to try not to work
miffypop: my mom wants to go to europe
supervxxen: i've decided that money is evil and i want to have as littel of it as possible!
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: i should probably quit my job but i feel bad b/c david just quit
miffypop: unfortunately my dad believes that its a virtue to submit to capitalism
supervxxen: you know what i was just thinking
supervxxen: that your life has been changed because all of your bedrooms are on one floor
miffypop: yeah, isnt that interesting
supervxxen: it makes your bedroom more like a family room
miffypop: it was really affected b/c my dad used to live here
miffypop: lol
supervxxen: cause i remember your mom used to always come in your room and put stuff in there
supervxxen: it made it very walk-able into
supervxxen: i think that's pretty cool actually
supervxxen: i'm gonna build my own house like mrs whitten and make it a one story house like yours humm
supervxxen: actually it will probably be a one room house
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: i'm not looking forward to college anymore
miffypop: nor am i too much
supervxxen: really?
miffypop: no, i'm dreading the potheads and lesbians
supervxxen: i thought you ere still all excited about potheads
miffypop: but i still think its the best place for me
supervxxen: oh
miffypop: oh fdl
miffypop: jesus
miffypop: i was half joking i guess but now i really hate the idea
supervxxen: actually i meant to say you were excited by marlboro
miffypop: i've evolved a bit since then
miffypop: hehehe
supervxxen: lol but you said potheads and then i said potheads
miffypop: oh ok
supervxxen: yeah, i think we should start our own college
supervxxen: i wonder if anyone would apply
supervxxen: make a really easy application
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: yeah but our interviews would be gruesome
miffypop: so we'd have like three students
supervxxen: lol
supervxxen: that'd be awesome
miffypop: hehe
supervxxen: a college with 3 students
miffypop: there's a college with twenty-six students in california
supervxxen: of course, it'd kind of suck we taught it
supervxxen: craziness
miffypop: it's an all guyscollege thats self-subsistent
miffypop: they govern and grow everything themselves
supervxxen: oh, that's the one scott was looking at bfeore he decided he was a slave of his money
miffypop: no president, or supervisors, they do everything
miffypop: are you serious?
supervxxen: yeah
supervxxen: no actually i think he always knew he was a slave of his money, but he said if he had money and if no one cared what he did (that his, his parents didn't) he'd have seriously looked into it b/c it was so different
supervxxen: i can understand it though, he doesn't want to have ANY loans at all
supervxxen: because money sucks
supervxxen: and his dad has saved enough to go to any in-state school and he wouldnt' ahve to apply for financial aid or anything
supervxxen: and that gives him the freedom to do whath e wants after college
supervxxen: see now, if i go to somewhere that's very expensive, and i can't pay, i'll just be a slave of money only with a later part of my life in which i can't mooch off my parents
supervxxen: and i'll end up in a job that i don't really like because of money
supervxxen: or i'll declare bankruptcy. i think it'd be rather nice to be bankrupt
miffypop: no! what a horrible sequence
miffypop: fdl
supervxxen: lol
miffypop: what exactly happens to you if you go bankrupt
supervxxen: can't get loans, can't have bank accounts?, can't have credit cards
supervxxen: but you can still have a job and get paychecks and all
supervxxen: and i guess you could pay the rent in cash
supervxxen: or buy your own land
supervxxen: but i dont know that you can own land if you're bankrupt
miffypop: doesnt sound horrible
miffypop: it would be really annoying though
supervxxen: i guess
supervxxen: depending if you owrked it out ok
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: brb
supervxxen: hey. what's the land in varina like?
miffypop: i think its like farmland
supervxxen: could we try to plant our own stuff there
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: yeah probably
supervxxen: but i guess it would be illegal to build on it?
miffypop: we should try not to get caught
miffypop: yes
supervxxen: how about camping out on there
miffypop: probably illegal to plant stuff too, if it looks intentional
supervxxen: that would be cool i want to go camping
supervxxen: oh
miffypop: lol i dont know
supervxxen: yeah we could break out the azalea bushes and plant them in nice neat rows
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: i hate azaleas
supervxxen: i was thinking wheat for some reason, though im sure wheat doesn't grow very well here
supervxxen: yeah they suck
supervxxen: aw. i don't mean that.
miffypop: we have a ton of azaleas in our backyard
miffypop: hehe
supervxxen: they're flowers. i can only be so mean about flowers.
miffypop: yeah
miffypop: they're just so garden-ish
miffypop: american garden-ish, anyway
supervxxen: their souls have been stolen after being mass-produced
miffypop: definitely
miffypop: and artificially colored
supervxxen: it's like the bokanovsky process
supervxxen: have you read brave new world
miffypop: no
supervxxen: oh ok, nevermind then
supervxxen: i think i like trees better than flowers, honestly
miffypop: have you ever had any trouble with eating or body image or anything?
supervxxen: flowers remind me of stupid pretty children
miffypop: oh me too, definitely
miffypop: trees are grand
supervxxen: and wise
supervxxen: eating or body image
supervxxen: not particularly
supervxxen: this summer i was a little obsessed with eating right
miffypop: have you ever thought much about it?
miffypop: yeah
supervxxen: but i got over that
miffypop: oh lol
supervxxen: i'm too lazy to care
miffypop: i'm back to it again to keep from being crazy
supervxxen: and food is good
supervxxen: yeah, i have noticed that
supervxxen: if you're lazy with your eating patterns you're usually lazy in life
supervxxen: or lazy about your body upkeep you're lazy about your mind upkeep
supervxxen: well maybe not necessarily
miffypop: yeah but i see what you mean
miffypop: or see how that could be right
supervxxen: but i guess if you feel like a slob on the outside, you might as well feel like one on the inside
supervxxen: let the fat accumulate on the outside, let it accumulate in the mind. mmm yum
miffypop: yeah, if you're vain or superficial, which i think it truly does come down to at some level
miffypop: lol
supervxxen: oh i didn't really mean outside as in appearance. i ugess i just meant outside as in physical
miffypop: yeah thats what i meant as well... i mean like if you're concerned so much with the tangible that it affects your spirit
supervxxen: oh i see
miffypop: do you mind if i post this convo
miffypop: or at least parts of it
supervxxen: sure thing, what we just said, or the whole thing
supervxxen: oh, okay
miffypop: cool thanks
supervxxen: are you in ssc or just the sierra club
miffypop: ssc
miffypop: but we call it all different things
supervxxen: cool i just wanna find this non-owned land
miffypop: lol
supervxxen: oh hey
supervxxen: i still can't see auras
supervxxen: did you say it looked like black lines around your hands
supervxxen: or black smoke
supervxxen: or what
miffypop: no, not around
miffypop: they're little black smoky lines that look like they're trying to connect the fingers of your one hand to those of the other when you move them closer and father apart
supervxxen: are they very very black?
supervxxen: or just kinda darkish
miffypop: just kinda darkish
miffypop: lol its not like a cartoon drawing in real life or anything
miffypop: its very faint
supervxxen: see it all just looks to me like i've got bad eyesight
miffypop: fdl
miffypop: i know
supervxxen: and it's like an optical illusion
supervxxen: anyway i'm going to sleep
miffypop: yeah me too in a few mins.
supervxxen: thanks for talking to me tonight because i was feeling really frustrated

hey...this isn't me! I mean you! I mean...who did this? oh, it's you. You (I) wish you (I) understood what you (I) were (was) saying. I (you) said to contribute, so here you (I) are (am). nice site. still don't get it (confused yet?), but interesting. later.
--dexter

and counting the minutes