i can't believe i was so stupid for so long.
why do things have to happen in the worst possible way.
why must we always learn things this way.
why must this world be such an extraordinarily, incessantly, continuously painful sphere.
why must it be like a play, where some direct and others act...
no, why must it be like a puppet show, with some in control and others unknowing. why must it be like this. why must the two be able to communicate. and once they do, why must some be incapable of understanding. why must it all be so painful.
i am so goddamned fucking alone. except for the other people who are so goddamned alone. i should have fucking known. but i didn't. why didn't i. i am so regretful.