sarah.
another teary-eyed is worth something.
another mourning means another cared.
that means alot to alot of people.

everyone feels detached sometimes too.
even if i am with sobbing friends sometimes i am not there.
even people who knew him more than anyone are still not there sometimes.
frail, finite people cannot grasp death completely.
grief comes in waves.
sometimes it just surprises you.
it just happens.
alone or with people.

no man is an island.

it affects all of us.
they were classmates. two of us.

missing graduates.
missing hall congestion.
missing body heat.
missing seeming constants.

sometimes i am absent.
sometimes i tremble.
sometimes i am elsewhere.
sometimes i am here.
sometimes it is nothing.
sometimes it is everything.

philip was a childhood friend. our parents are friends.
i knew adam, but not well. i know so many of his freinds.

strong people are hurting. it hurts to see that. so much hurt.
they were here, now they are not.

you can comfort by crying.
there are not words.

you can comfort
by being there.
by caring.
by embracing.
by listening.
by being present.

words fail.

and the velvet underground

what sort of artsy am i?
the two twenty six a m type

sparklehorse and theapples in waves
fifteendollar wornsneakers on kitchen floor
oneforty in the morning contemplating communication
honey&ginseng green tea with soymilk
tousledhair in all naturalforms
small dots in manytextures at anotherglance
acoustic applause for smallgrand strumming
unrefinedsugar in small doses
mountains in manymedia imagined
talking freely for once andfor all
organising slowly for fun or peace

"everybody can change" the chesnutt tells me